Year 3: The Quiet Elegance of Acceptance

I was once that woman I see in the photos.

Before my universe shifted.

How does time both stand still and spiral endlessly simultaneously?

Grief does that, I suppose; the continuous presence of an absence is powerful.

I moved forward because I knew I had to. Out of love for our sons.

Not knowing how much I could and would change.

Knowing the only way through it was to go through it.

And here I am, in the purity of Acceptance.

It’s like an exhale. It’s like looking at the sky’s distance and beauty and surrendering to my insignificance in comparison;

It’s like a mixture of equal parts stillness, longing, and gratitude - like feeling the sun and the raindrops all at once and recognizing both should exist together.

Acceptance has a quiet elegance to it. I like it.

I am no longer fighting my pain because Acceptance embraces every emotion with such Grace. And Strength.

I often smile when I think of you now. The best part is when I can feel your dimples smiling back, cheering me on.

I loved you to your very last breath. Thank you for being my husband and for loving me.

I do miss you, still. Always.

For Patrick.