I was once that woman I see in the photos.
Before my universe shifted.
How does time both stand still and spiral endlessly simultaneously?
Grief does that, I suppose; the continuous presence of an absence
is powerful.
I moved forward because I knew I had to. Out of love for our
sons.
Not knowing how much I could and would change.
Knowing the only way through it was to go through it.
And here I am, in the purity of Acceptance.
It’s like a mixture of equal parts stillness, longing, and
gratitude - like feeling the sun and the raindrops all at once and recognizing both
should exist together.
Acceptance has a quiet elegance to it. I like it.
I am no
longer fighting my pain because Acceptance embraces every emotion with such Grace.
And Strength.
I often smile when I think of you now. The best part is when
I can feel your dimples smiling back, cheering me on.
I loved you to your very last breath. Thank you for being my
husband and for loving me.
I do miss you, still. Always.
For Patrick.
